ThreadingWater

I’ve been in a de-cluttering funk lately, sorting and tossing and carting the detritus of “maybe I can use this someday” thinking and hording behavior. This behavior on my part makes Greatest Husband terribly nervous. He’s started to refer jokingly to this phase as “going Polish,” but deep down he trembles with apprehension and scrambles to stay one room ahead of my uncontrolled cyclonic twisting, hunkering down and hiding and hording even more than usual to counteract my forces.

Well, doll, you can relax for the time being. This recently rediscovered treasure from my collection of old cookbooks has stopped me in my tracks.

ooohhhh, this is going to be delicious!

“the machine beats time as well as batter while you supply the brain that makes the cake”

A BRAIN! We haz 1!

And, look! Color photography for inspiration!

More on the actual recipes later. My favorite section of this cookbook is the one that details instructions for entertaining at home without a maid. Just the perfect guide for today’s hard economic times. I mean, maybe you’re like George and Laura, soon to be facing unemployment but still having to entertain all those hangers-on like Condi and Dana and Dick and Lynne. Take heart and consider the:

Buffet Service

The currently popular buffet dinner is another way to manage a maidless dinner. Guests are seated at card tables placed in the living room or other open space, wherever they can be comfortably seated and served.

Sometimes older people, unacquainted with this form of service, become confused and need help. Second helpings, fresh water and butter are brought to the small tables by host, hostess or those assisting.

For more hilarious parties, still on the grown-up side, there are those in which each couple brings one course, the hostess providing the hot one and coffee.

On second thought, this may not work so well in Crawford. While I can totally envision Laura providing the evening’s hot dish, I’m afraid the entire set-up would be way too confusing and not at all hilarious for the guests. You just know that bee-atch Lynne is going to go all high and mighty with her jello salad and toss in some marshmallows to throw Condi off her zero-calorie diet. And, whoa!, if Dick’s been out hunting?? Well, I don’t want to know.

Let’s see . . . there must be something in here that would better suit the Crawford crowd. Oh, yes. Here it is. “The Rumpus Room.”

to be continued.