gift

Best Mother’s Day gift ever:  watching your only child become a father.  Second best gift?  The cordless drill set.  Thanks, son.

And, perhaps best of all is the everyday gift of your beautiful wife.  Finally, a daughter.  It was worth the wait.

earth

give mama some love

Natural disasters/environmental issues explained by conservatives:

”I think there is a handful of people who hate America. Unfortunately for them, a lot of them are losing their homes in a forest fire today.”

—Glenn Beck, on why people who lost their homes in forest fires in California had it coming, ‘The Glenn Beck Program,’ Oct. 22, 2007

”God gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees. God said, ‘Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It’s yours.”’

— Ann Coulter, on FOX News, June 20, 2001

”It may be a blessing in disguise. … Something happened a long time ago in Haiti, and people might not want to talk about it. Haitians were originally under the heel of the French. You know, Napoleon the third, or whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the devil. They said, we will serve you if you will get us free from the French. True story. And so, the devil said, okay it’s a deal. Ever since they have been cursed by one thing after the other.”

—Pat Robertson, on the earthquake in Haiti that destroyed the capital and killed tens of thousands of people, Jan. 13, 2010

Does the environment care when it soaks an entire community in molten rock? Nope, uh-uh. Doesn’t go to bed at night going, gee, I don’t know, I think that might have been a mistake.”

Plus, when a volcano blows, it dumps gigantic amounts of greenhouse gases into the atmosphere. Does it have a cap in trade on its eruptions? No! Totally unregulated! Was it man who created all the diseases that have wiped out millions? The plague. No, it was natural. I guess we could just accept the whole wiping out 1/3 of the human race thing. Sorry, don’t need another Holocaust but thanks for chiming in, nature. And while I’m at it, thanks for making Antarctica completely uninhabitable. It’s not like we need more land or more resources. Don’t worry about all the people starving up here. You know, don’t worry about. Just cover the whole continent in ice. Why don’t you do that. Who needs it? Just ice. And penguins, birds that don’t fly and you can eat! Thank you. No, I appreciate it.

Let me tell you something. Thank God for us people who are supposedly melting that pointless piece of ice so someone can put the land to good news. No thanks to you, Mr. Environment.

– Glenn Beck on his radio broadcast, Feb. 26, 2008

bucket

Please tell the Colonel what to do with his pink bucket of fat, cholesterol, sodium and carcinogens.

This campaign has to be a new low in corporate branding.  The more cancer-chicken-in-a-bucket you buy, the more gets donated to finding a cancer cure.  Regular readers know I’m not a fan of Komen,  and fundraising campaigns like this are the main reason.  Many women with breast cancer have received help and support from their local Komen chapters and would arm wrestle me to the floor in defense of this organization.  I respect that.  I know there are good programs under the Komen banner that have helped women deal with this disease.

At some point, however, Komen has to be held accountable for forming partnerships with corporations who tie their donations to the sale of food or other products that undermine healthy lifestyle choices, or out and out contribute to rising rates of cancer.

Please, please, please . . . Think Before You Pink!

shun

Unshameable. Unreasoning. Hatred as a many-pustuled infection.

If you know a teabagger, isn’t it time you confronted them with a little dose of antibiotic truth?  The least among them are nothing more than playground bullies who will pack up their marbles and go home if you stand up to them. The worst,  the racists and homophobes, can always be encouraged to seek mental health counseling.

Needle a teabagger.  Cast them out.

springiness

photo shamelessly lifted from Juniper Moon Farm because the Internet needs more lamb photos

Rain is washing away the snow and, even though all experienced midwesterners know we are far from seeing the last of snow and cold, we play right into Mother Nature’s cruel streak by doing crazy spring things like:

• ordering a sky blue cotton shift and sandals over the Internet
• get a pedicure
• walk out the door in leggings and skimmer flats with NO SOCKS
• start seriously paging through the seed catalogs
• hunt around the foundation of the house for signs of green tulip and crocus shoots

Naturally, our hearts will be broken.  The actual day a couple of weeks ago when I ventured out in the leggings and sockless skimmers?  Had to slog through 5 inches of snow to get to the back door when I got home that night.

And, just like our inner nature screams out for spring even when faced with the unrelenting presence of winter, I have been noticing bigger and bigger disconnects on the political scene, too.  Who am I to criticize, (she of the new Keen sandals), the suburban T-bagging dwellers who complain about the potholes they have to dodge on their way in and out of my city where they earn their living and pay no local taxes? Or, the cagey, flirty Palins of the world who redefine hypocrisy as it’s milder-sounding cousin “irony” when they admit to illegally taking advantage of Canada’s healthcare system while bashing any and all attempts to establish the palest form of Canadian health coverage in the U.S.?

And, are those who rage against the Census and threaten to not return their Census forms living in a universe so bizarrely different from mine as I waltz around the house in bare, pedicured feet in March?

In a word, yes.

They are batshit crazy paranoids.

I’m just a cockeyed optimist.

Here’s to spring and getting your LambCam on.